Kindness and Joining


Practice kindness. In all things but especially wherever you are currently struggling. Not giving up boundaries, but kindness while maintaining them. This has been on my mind a lot lately. One way is through what I call "joining statements." Joining statements bring parents together on small things with the hopeful pay off to be more collaborative on bigger issues. It starts a mini- partnership and reduces micro-aggressions towards one another. Let's face it, most people do have good qualities. We sometimes have to set aside judgements, the pain of the struggle and investigate with curiosity to find these sentences. Joining statements are finding a commonality or being honestly able to say for example-, good job on "whatever"- keeping the kids in activities, helping them transition today, loving your shared child. Using joining statements is also helpful for your shared child to see and understand your commitment to try to get along. Saying "Your mom has good ideas,......Your dad is good at helping you with math," when said with authenticity- goes far in helping your child feel less stress. More on joining statements to come. Kristine Clay 2015

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