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       Helping parents

       and children navigate change

Ideas, Journal, Blog

July 1, 2019

Often I meet with a parent and hear that the hope, the goal when splitting up from their ex partner, was to get along- to work everything out by just agreeing and doing what is best. Somehow we think that we will be less conflictual following our parting. If that worke...

May 29, 2016

Be Careful What you Teach

 

It is my experience that most parents truly care about how conflict in divorce affects their child. Parents are sad for their lost childhood peace. They are compassionate and want to support their kids. For parents who are not reflecting enoug...

May 29, 2016

For Co-Parents: The Rewards of Climbing Mount Conflict

 

Have you ever been surprised to learn that you were in a completely different conversation than your partnering parent? Same place, same, language, similar words but the recall of the conversation is completely dif...

December 8, 2015

The Hardest Thing.

 

When you are going through a high conflict divorce, custody challenges or alienation, the hardest thing is often the most important thing. The most important thing is how to support your child where they are and build (or rebuild) that bridge of rela...

December 2, 2015

 

https://soundcloud.com/user-866170031-75784182/kf004-kristine-clay-on-relational-neuroscience-based-co-parenting

December 2, 2015

Holidays, Loss and “New Norms”: Tips to recreate tradition

The holiday times are generally experienced as a happy time yet can be stressful for you and you children. They are enduring the same changes to what has been in the past as you are and everyone feels the loss....

October 25, 2015

Anchoring: Developing a sense of community

 

Isolation is never a good thing, in fact isolation is the enemy in most cases. If you have spent any time with me, I have likely said this to you as I believe it is so true. Divorce brings loss no doubt and can be isolating to...

October 25, 2015

Tips for increasing community anchors

 

  1. Sign the child up for activities they are interested in and make sure to attend yourself.

  2. Visit local parks, and point out to your child the features that they can remember, ie “this is the caste park, this is the park wit...

September 20, 2015

Promoting Safety- what do I mean?
We talk a lot of about the core need your child has for a sense of safety. By saying, this I am not suggesting you are unsafe or doing anything to intentionally promote a sense of being unprotective of your child. You are working and i...

September 20, 2015

Why play?

Mr. Roger's said "plays allows  us a safe distance as we work on what's close to our hearts."

You've heard play is the work of child hood. That's true but let's look at a moment at why play is so important in childhood and frankly in every stage of the life...

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